Goddess, Can you hear me? :S

So it's a new day... a new week actually, and things are going pretty... chaotic. I'm trying to hold my peace, and to find some sense within it all, but it's really spiraling beyond any possible control I feel I can exert at the moment. I've had to reconsider the way in which I respond to allot of people (well... maybe two... my mother and he-who-shall-not-be-named) both emotionally and verbally, and it's all really testing my character and my willpower.... Hell yeh...  So as a pagan, I find myself trying to broaden my perspective to a level where I can all view this as apart of the 'One-ness' of all of my experiences, but it isn't the most comforting thing in the world... I guess putting what we claim to believe into practice really isn't all that easy, but that doesn't make it undo-able.

So here I am doing what can't be done... Can I truly claim to live a solitary life if I'm so dependent on so many external factors for my mere survival? And if that bullshit theory has finally found itself under the axe, what do I do within myself to replace its once immature comfort?

The Goddess is forcing me into a place of self-sustenance... All the forces within the Cosmos are pushing me towards a place of "Practice thy Craft & Live"... Maybe it's also leading me to a place of "Practice thy Craft to Live"... I'm giving myself until Samhain to set myself up professionally online giving Tarot readings and Numerological Reports. At this moment, I'm not so sure I am being given the leisurely comfort of waiting that long.

So here is my lesson in faith... i read a passage in the Bible recently that spoke about it (yes, the Bible... >_>).. It's James 1.... Interesting stuff... We call on the Divine halfheartedly expecting the fullness of our desires to be met. Perhaps, the gods are calling me to do the presumably unthinkably foolish act and just throw myself off the deep end in a Random Act of Faith, with the knowingness that I will be provided for?

I'm gonna twitch my nose and trust the Goddess on this one... Gaia must provide.... Better must come....